Journey To A Fresh Start

Till court do us part...and children keep us bound.  You dream of a new live away from your abusive spouse. You summon the courage to walk away. However many court days, attorneys and 000's of dollars later you realize you are still bound to the cruel personality by the children you bore together - what is supposed to be a blessing, now seems to be a handcuff to your nightmare. I can't help but imagine how much easier walking away would have been if children were not involved 🤔. How I wish my children came to me through a different person! Since wishes are not horses I have to 'will' a new type of freedom. A freedom that transcends what any family court papers can grant me.  I feel it'll need to involve a new mindset - one that does not fall for his narcissistic baits.

Super discouraging! Such injustice! I looked to the church elders for help but either they were distracted by what IT service the church can gain from him as volunteer work or they were swayed by his lies enveloped in charm. Then the severe beating came and out of the fear that followed I ran to the court. Little did I know this is a den of thieves (attorneys with the judge being in cohorts). A place where lies prevails over truth and exposing the lies with evidence is an expensive undertaking. Where manipulation is the order of the day. I feel like justice is not to be had there. Even my legal freedom from the marriage is delayed by the lengthy court process and protocols. Will I ever be free of the narcissist I married? For my freedom I lift up my eyes to the hills from where my help comes from.  My help comes from the Lord...not man.