2022 - year of self care

All my life I have never been able to take naps during the day. My mind won't stop churning, head won't stop thinking. This has not been the case lately to my pleasant surprise...God be praised!

Following the emotional and psychological catastrophic end to 2021, I purposely declared 2022 a year of self care. No major goals to pursue, no side hustle to keep me running. Is this why its been easier to nap during the day? Not sure,  I doubt it because even as a child/youth with no major life goals or side hustle, I could not nap during day.

To what end is our endless toil? To what end my relentless life goals pursuit? This is what I have been thinking a lot about this year. I set up and run a successful business so that? ...I can make money and retire early? So that, I can feel fulfilled? So that I can feel like I lived up to my potential? If I were to unpack each of this:

So that:

I can make money and retire early, so that I can own my time, so that I can spend that time doing more things I enjoy? Isn't it same to just find a vocation where I am  being paid for doing something I enjoy 🤔?

Next one, so that:

I can feel fulfilled. What does that even mean if its popularly known that feelings are fleeting. Let's pretend it is not. What do I need to do to feel fulfilled, why does it require money? Or the successful running of a business? Why is it not enough to feel fulfilled raising healthy kids inspite of being a single parent?

Last but not least, so that:

I can live up to my potential. So that I can grow old and leave this earth not wondering "what if...what else." This to me feels like my most compelling "Why". The next question is, is it enough to shake me into action?