Journey To A Fresh Start

Another conversation with my attorney - again its focused on how the two attorneys are yet to agree on how the $50K should be withdrawn from my 401k and split between them. Its been over 4 weeks and they cannot agree on quadro vs. non quadro - stating lack of trust on both sides. I am super frustrated at this point. "Can we talk about what needs to be done to finalize this divorce?!" "If I am coming short $50K, can it at least be that the divorce is final!" What kind of system rewards an abusive person, who lies and manipulates his way through the court system - with the payment of his attorney fees from the victim's funds. This is after he has lied his way to reducing child support from $1800 to $650 per month for two children. Stating he is not gainfully employed...smh.  I have suffered being kicked out of the marital home with both kids, legal badgering from his attorney, being bullied through discovery in-spite of his lack of response to mine, a nervous br

Nothing sifts the soul better than the pain of trials. The kind of trials that made me -  a 26 year old believer in the Lord, question the fundamentals of my faith. How can I, who lived sacrificially in youth, chaste in spinsterhood end up marrying what turned out to be my life's worst nightmare. Its been 30 months since the  bloody abuse and I am still trying to get divorced. Abused in marriage, now legally abused in divorce. I learned many things: I learned why the caged Bird sings,  i learned people are inadequate to the rescue, i learned u don't take the fight to where the enemy is most comfortable. But most of all I am learning anger and fear can only protect you so far. The best verdict i gave myself is letting go. Forgiving the offender, cause in that I find my peace.

A stranger glances in my direction and says "you look nice". I looked behind me, very sure he had to be referring to someone else. "I mean you" he said, looking at me. Blushing and ashamed I said "thank you." Why shame? Shame, because at that moment you feel exposed - the whole world can now see that despite the effort you put into looking glam, you don't feel so. It wasn't always like that, just the output of years of neglect, being silenced, yelled at, charged at.........hit The output of a narcissistic marriage.