Journey To A Fresh Start

My God! Why does my mom make me feel inadequate, invalidated, all efforts as a single mom to be a bread winner, a present parent, a daughter, an entrepreneur, resilient, a domestic violence survivor and doing well after so much psychological and physical abuse - all  unacknowledged. All she sees is what I havent done, what i am yet to do. Where i fall short. Is this the source of my recurring self depreciating talk of not enough? All along I thought  it originated from Lincoln, my malignant narcissistic ex but more I become vast in the psychological make up of my childhood I see it started loong before i met Lincoln. The hard driving effort from mom and dad to make me this 'good' domestic girl (mom) and an independent self reliant woman (dad). Is this the source of my incessant drive to be 'good', accomplished, better, a hard driving perfectionist? Back to my mom, yesterday i was obviously anxious about a meeting i had coming up with the GM. Not nervous but anxious tha

There was no more at least to hold on to. 

Thank you for being here. I have to confess, you have been tricked, tricked into thinking you were coming for a birthday/house warming. I for a while now have made jokes about having a freedom party aka divorce celebration party. Humor aside i what i wanted ... nothing more is to say thank you. Thank you to God who finally settled us - the kids and I. Having a place to call our own, for me is beyond the glitz and glam that covers the brick and mortar beneath it all. It symbolizes rest and no more moving boxes 😄 - at least for a while if i can help it. That you are here means you are aware of the upheaval that the last few yrs of my life has been...let me btw use this opportunity to apologize to those who had to listen to me vent for mins on end about the experience 🙈 (i basically went from being a very private person to vomiting the stress that was my life to anyone who dared sincerely ask how are you LOL 🙈?) My 1st major panic attack was just from looking at a moving box placed in