House warming and Gratitude

Thank you for being here.

I have to confess, you have been tricked, tricked into thinking you were coming for a birthday/house warming. I for a while now have made jokes about having a freedom party aka divorce celebration party. Humor aside i what i wanted ... nothing more is to say thank you.

Thank you to God who finally settled us - the kids and I. Having a place to call our own, for me is beyond the glitz and glam that covers the brick and mortar beneath it all. It symbolizes rest and no more moving boxes 😄 - at least for a while if i can help it. That you are here means you are aware of the upheaval that the last few yrs of my life has been...let me btw use this opportunity to apologize to those who had to listen to me vent for mins on end about the experience 🙈 (i basically went from being a very private person to vomiting the stress that was my life to anyone who dared sincerely ask how are you LOL 🙈?)

My 1st major panic attack was just from looking at a moving box placed in my cube in the office back in 2017. I literally called my physicians office and told them i think i am having a heart attack - the room was spinning, my heart was racing, i felt like i couldn't breathe. I laugh about it now but at the time it wasnt funny. That moment broke in periods of anxiety attacks. When it became apparent to me that's what the room spinning, cant breathe moments meant i was humbled. Humbled because yes i was that person who thought panic attacks was the western world's term for explaining away weakness. I am humbled snd ashamed now that i judged those i saw on tv who said they had a panic attack.

Back to moving boxes...this is by no means my 1st home. But this by far means a lot to me as it symbolizes exhaling - yes breathing as for a while now I like i have been holding my breath as the kids and i are displaced from home to home. Once i counted and we had moved approximately 5 times in 3 yrs.