Childhood

 

[2/7, 4:40 PM] Tiffany Coffey: I think my mom is narcissistic

[2/7, 5:38 PM] Banké Balogun: Hahahaha! Omg! I was wondering the same thing about my mom this weekend 😳🤦🏽‍♀️

More I thought about it though my mom was just a victim of a very abusive overbearing father. What she did not have she is unable to give.

My mom and dad combo did create an environment that set me up to be a caretaker.

I was the only girl amongst 3 brothers, 1 male cousin and 2 uncles. I felt alone and isolated most of the time. My culture raised girls to serve men, cook and clean while my brothers...didnt do much but waited to be served their meals from what I remember 😅.

I just remember my childhood to be me listening to my mom always in her feelings about not being happy with my dad, she also has a tendency to be very critical and invalidating by nature.  She cares too much what others think so she would never hear me out when anyone reported me to her but would give her ears to outsiders then turn around and reprimand me in their presence. During the marriage this made it even easier for Lincoln and his family to manipulate, lie and gas light me. During my jury divorce hearing while I was enduring a whole jury case she went as far as worrying more about what the folks in court room thought of her following her daughter to divorce court. When I cried about the unfairness of the verdict in her presence her response was that i dont know what suffering is and suffering is the women in Nigeria who have had to endure worse. That statement knocked me to realization this woman is really not psychologically and emotionally nurturing 😳. She was always the victim in all her relationships with people, is very cynical and distrusting.

My dad on the other hand only thought about himself, quite self-centered. Never bonded with the children but set himself up to be revered and feared.

There it is - a conundrum of narcissistic traits in my familial childhood home.