Do not weep for me

I received a package in the mail today - it was my Nigerian passport. When I opened it I could not help but notice the drastic difference between the picture in this new passport (2018 - 7 years older) vs. the expired one (2011).

The new passport book had a face - that just looked normal. The old one...well see below for yourself - sad, dejected, hair unkept, eyes sunken, forced smile. Same person, years later...aged happier! How can this be? Its Freedom! 

Free from a marriage where I felt invisible, subdued, unattractive, unwanted, unheard, cheated on, ignored, manipulated, gaslighted...abused - physically and emotionally.

This taught me that the climbing of age is not the kryptonite of youth. Quicker deterioration of youth comes from prolonged stress! An example - unhappy marriage, terminal sickness, stressful job, etc.

Failed marriage is taboo in my culture, but how come this massive failure ushered me into a happier existence?

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The wound is the place where the light enters you

The wound is the place where the light enters you, a quote from the movie. A wrinkle in time. I go to court tomorrow for my final trial. Its been 11 years of marital hell, 3+ years of divorce hell and torture. Do I know this to be true? Does a light really shine through my wounds? According to Oprah, she says about this quote, "there is not one single difficulty you experience that will be wasted. Everything is showing up to make you who you were meant to be."
Read more

2022 - year of self care

All my life I have never been able to take naps during the day. My mind won't stop churning, head won't stop thinking. This has not been the case lately to my pleasant surprise...God be praised! Following the emotional and psychological catastrophic end to 2021, I purposely declared 2022 a year of self care. No major goals to pursue, no side hustle to keep me running. Is this why its been easier to nap during the day? Not sure,  I doubt it because even as a child/youth with no major life goals or side hustle, I could not nap during day. To what end is our endless toil? To what end my relentless life goals pursuit? This is what I have been thinking a lot about this year. I set up and run a successful business so that? ...I can make money and retire early? So that, I can feel fulfilled? So that I can feel like I lived up to my potential? If I were to unpack each of this: So that: I can make money and retire early, so that I can own my time, so that I can spend that time doing mor
Read more

A typical day with my beloved

12/14/2017 Another day in court. 2 years, 2 months, 19 days and counting and each time I am in awe at how ugly love got…how looong and drawn out the wicked high conflicts divorce process has been. All manner of grace rewarded with all manner of vindictive actions.  All manner of emotions, all manner of responses…all have come full circle. Is this the process of becoming numb? To think there was once Love…was there ever? à One wonders when love goes south. How can Love, Hope and Sacrifice yield such selfish evil in return? Only God knows. I wondered if perhaps I had sinned…perhaps it is sin that led me here because such plain evil cannot just happen in a vacuum. Experts however say sympathetic people ending up with narcissists is more common than there is awareness of. Matter of fact, it is such guilt prone thinking that makes them perfect bait to the skillful blame deflector. To the naive, unsuspecting people: walk carefully, date cautiously for the narcissist lurks around - a wol
Read more